I’m super stoked to start working on this video, Alex, Nick and Fletcher have been texting me to come skate and film, but I still have a month of school till my free time opens up. Oh well. This summer, it’s on.

I’m making black beans and rice for the first time. It’s not totally from scratch. But it is inspired by a person I know who makes it from scratch!

(this is not an actual photo of mine. Looks hella good though)

This woman makes food so good that I included her cooking in a song I wrote. It’s inspiringly good. She soaks the beans, simmers them for hours with some onions, some twigs and leaves (I don’t know what they are, but they must help) and a nice big chunk of what I assume is a pigs shoulder! It is so fucking good over rice with some hot sauce.

Well I didn’t ask my butcher for a pork shoulder, I got some pork for stew or stir fry. The beans are from a can. The onion is totally real. And no, it’s not organic.

So I turned the stove up and threw some butter in the bottom of a nice big pot and put the pork in. While that was going I chopped half a small onion and threw that in with the pork. Right after doing so, I thought, maybe I should have waited till i browned the pork to do that? Once I saw it I realized that I may be crowding the pork and adding moisture which would impede on said browning.

Any who! I browned the pork and added the beans. Now it will simmer away for a couple hours! To be continued.

Well I made my rice and over cooked it a smidge. I put some hot sauce on it, Tapatio’s to be exact! Gotta put hot sauce on black beans and rice. But all in all, it’s pretty damned tasty! Go make some.

A quick message to people who make cheap tuna fish sandwiches.

Do not just put mayo in the tuna and throw it on bread. You’re better than that. So treat yourself right and follow two little rules.

1. Always dice up some onion and put it in there. Start with a little and dice it small. Add more or make it bigger from there. Experiment from there and remember, this is for taste as well as texture.

2. Buy some good bread.

Are there any cook books that actually teach people how to cook? I don’t mean in the way of technique or recipe. I mean in the way that someone would gain an understanding of how ingredients cook together and balancing flavors and things like that.

After all, what if the difference between following heating instructions for mac & cheese and following a recipe?

I not only want a book like this but I would like one written by someone who has spent some time in the region I live in. That way they can cater to local resources that would be relevant in my cooking selection. I am a fan of eating food with low mileage.

Its simple. You take a single nice piece of bread and toast it, you add some butter to a hot pan and you over easy fry two eggs in the pan. Over easy eggs are awesome.

For those of you that don’t like runny eggs, you need to seriously rethink your stance. The yolk is one of the most wonderful tasting you will ever put in your mouth!

Place the eggs on the toast. That’s pretty much it. I like to put some sharp cheddar cheese in between the toast and the eggs. You can put some bacon or whatever you want in between there too.

Its a proper way to start the day. That rhymed. Unintentional.

In no way am I some hoity toity foodie type. I don’t spend my days going out to restaurants ordering wine that pairs well with my main course. O don’t labor over a stove with ingredients shipped in from countries ive never heard of with big “organic” labels on them.

Sure I know how to make proper scrabbled eggs and I do find the time and money to have someone serve and prepare my food for me but I still eat soup from a can sometimes. Like today! Right now!

I just made myself a can of Campbell’s Chunky Chicken Broccoli Cheese and Potato Soup. Its one of my favorite kinds from the Campbell’s Chunky series. They know it too, the word “chunky” and the label they put on it makes me feel more manly just lookin’ at it ya know?

Though I do eat these pre packaged food products I never pass up an opportunity to make them better. So while my soup was a boiln’ away on the stove top I took the liberty to chop up some jalapenos and put them in the pot. I also decided that I didn’t want to eat the soup they way Campbell’s colored it for me so I added in some Frank’s Red Hot Sauce to it.

Long story short, its good. I like it.

The Naked Noodle of Bozeman Montana

Im going to start off on an honesty note, my girlfriend works at the Naked Noodle. So I am biased as fuck. Not towards the food mind you, I am biased towards the fine gal working behind the counter. I’m not going to tell you who it is just in case she is the reason you go to eat their. Which is ok, but you should also realize that the food is great.
Side note, Im watching Parks and Recreations while I am typing this and Will Arnett is in this episode (S2Ep13) and he is awesome. If you haven’t seen Hot Rod you should. Back to the food!

If you want to be the type of person who orders one thing every time you go to The Noodle, thats fine. They have some nice dishes like the Goucho. Its a chipotle cream sauce with cavatappi pasta. It comes vegetarian style but you can add meat to any dish. Obviously.

But, if you are a little more risky than that you should either try the Pad Thai or the Zorba. I personally endorse both of these dishes. But for the sake of not wanting to write about three, Im going to tell you about the Zorba.

Looks nice dont it.

Zorba the Greek, which on their internet menu is actually called “Zorba the Geek”. So saddle up nerds and get your ass down their for some noodles. The Zorba comes with white wine, capers, kalamata olives, artichoke hearts, tomatoes, feta cheese and…… some other stuff.

But thats not all! Once your order is done and you go up to retain your food, you get three fuckin’ add ons! Yeah, three bitch! They have crushed peanuts (taste and texture), black beans, scallions, some cheeses and (you guessed it) some other stuff. On a side note people, they have sour cream, feta and chevra cheese available as an add in/on but be aware that they are 50 cents extra so order that yum yum at the counter. Which leads me to the most important part about The Nerdy Ass Zorba, you need to add peanuts and what I believe are craisins. Thats a raisin style cranberry.

Much like the Dudes rub, it really bring the whole dish together. Once you order the Zorba and add in these two key ingredients, the dish takes on a whole new lever. Your pallet is first met with the bright white wine flavor followed by a punch of lemon. I forgot to say that they finish the dish with a fresh hit of lemon juice. Its key. Everything is key. Key. Key Key. After that lemon tongue punch the chewing process kicks in and thats when you are going to get that peanut pay off you have been anticipating.  The texture of the peanuts and the dry roasted taste go together amazing with those craisins you decided to add in. The craisins are the third dimension of the dish. After the white wine and the peanuts the craisins top off the party in your mouth with a sweet tangy finish that will make you wish you never had to stop chewing. But you do. I think.

Do you ever “have” to swallow food? I know there aren’t any rules to food only food suggestions. Maybe there is a health risk? I doubt it. Anyways, back to the food! (this last line should be yelled, in your head and not out loud, the same way as the Metallica song ‘Back to the Front’)

On a final note, if you do order the Pad Tai don’t forget to add some sriracha hot sauce in it.(i call it hot cock. what? Its fuckin’ hot sauce with a red rooster on it?

makes sense don’t it.) The added heat is totally appropriate for the style of food.

For more official information on The Naked Noodle, check out their web page.

Now Im going to try a catch phrase for my blog.

And remember, this is Mutual Mastication so don’t eat alone, invite a friend!

Wausau Wisconsin’s greatest dish!

I grew up in Wausau, WI. I bet that fact makes you wonder what is good to eat around there? Well you would wonder correctly… Wausau is home to a Chinese restaurant called Piking. I am sure everyone has seen a Chinese restaurant called Peking before. Well this one isn’t crappy like the other ones I have been in.

Owner Jeff change is a hard driving cook and employer, I worked for him for a couple of years. I have seriously tried to find a place that matches up to the food they make. No one has yet.

If you are ever in the area they are located in a pretty sweet historic building down town called the Landmark Building. Aside from the Chinese restaurant the building houses a bunch of sketchy ass people and some creepy ass carpet. I don’t go in the elevators there. Its a janky place for sure. On the other hand if you want to feel like you are in The Shining, then maybe you would like walking around that place. But when you’re done go get some food at Peking. But not on a Sunday, they are closed on Sundays.

Now to the good stuff, if and when you get your ass around to The Peking Chinese Restaurant in Wausau order the Governors Chicken for gods sake! It is amazing. First off, Jeff doesn’t bread the chicken in his Governors Chicken. That’s a big fuckin’ deal because that means they don’t deep fry the meat. Jeff also doesn’t drown his dish in a bunch of gross pink/red sweet and sour sauce type stuff.

I honestly think most place use some basic pink/red goo and just add things to it to make their sauces. Not here sir, no, no sir… The szechuan sauce is a nice brown mix that has peas, green peppers, carrots, mushrooms, onions, pea nuts, water chestnuts and those awesome little corn cob things. Its a hot dish too, so pick your heat. I oder my Governor’s Chicken with no green peppers, extra mushroom and mild plus heat. (I will most likely get some pictures the next time I’m back in Wisco)

Its pretty in Peking too.

Along with a lack of pink gross sauce sort of stuff you also wont find that the vegetables on your dish are from a can. They actually cut their veggies in house. They serve their dinner dishes family style, which is hella classy in my book. On a side note, if you have a cold you should go for lunch and order the szechuan soup, they only serve the soup at lunch. Do not, I say I say, do not try and order the soup at dinner. The server will most likely go back into the kitchen and put your order up and the Jeff will use the eyes in the back of his head to read the ticket. Then your server gets yelled at and you have to order again and Jeff is a pro so that means he wont start to make your order until he has the whole order. So a word to the wise on that people.

To round things up, all of the dishes are great so don’t be some n00b ass virgin and order the Sweet n Sour pork, or chicken, or anything like that. Order a good Chinese for once and stop being a dumb ass. Feel free to read some stuff someone more official wrote about the place.

This is going to be great, FOR ME!!!